A Quiz... Are You a Trail Runner?
By: Blake Wood, Mary Fuka, Skip Eastman, and Tracey Chmielewski
The following quiz "Are you a trail runner?" first appeared in the RRCA Footnotes, Fall 1995.
- Which would you prefer to run:
- The Boston Marathon in under 3 hours (-1)
- The Pike's Peak Marathon in under 5 hours (+1)
- The Hardrock Hundred, and you don't care about the time (+2)
- A 50k with no T-shirt - it's just a training run (+3)
- It doesn't have a name, you don't have a number, you hope you'll be back by next week, but you're not particular (+3)
- Your condition when you return from your regular run:
- Sweating (-1)
- Bleeding (+1)
- Your blood has thickened from extended exposure to altitude (+2)
- Blood? Like you have any left? (+3)
- Running attire:
- You don't need bleach to keep your socks and T-shirts white (-1)
- All your running socks are tobacco brown (+1)
- Your children empty your socks and pan for gold (+2)
- Conditions on the run:
- You've fallen and scraped your knee on the sidwalk (-1)
- You've gotten dirt in your mouth or up your nose (+1)
- You don't fall. If you did, you'd be dead (+2)
- Three miles a day is enough for anybody (-1)
- You've detoured in a race to top a peak or see what's over the next ridge (+1)
- You've detoured to see what's over the next mountain range (+2)
- You've crossed three or more county lines during one run (+3)
- Timing your runs:
- You time your workouts (-1)
- You record your times (-1)
- You don't. The extra weight of the calendar is a nuisance (+2)
- Running vs. work:
- You can get in your run at lunch (-1)
- You have missed a meeting at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+1)
- You have missed more than a day at work because that loop was a little longer than you thought (+2)
- You use your sick time for those mid-week mountain runs (+3)
- You use all your vacation time to travel to trail races (+4)
- Running through hazards:
- You stubbed your toe once on a curb (-1)
- You have had to pull cactus thorns from your shoe or a yucca spine from your shin (+1)
- You don't bother pulling thorns or spines out unless they've still got a cactus or bush attached (+2)
- You don't bother to detach the rattlesnake from your body unless it's impeding your progress (+3)
- How long it takes a pair of shoes to lose that "new" look:
- Two weeks (-1)
- Three days (0)
- One day (+1)
- When you take them out of the store for a test run (+2)
- You can't tell the color of your shoes after the test run (+3)
- You have all four of your routes memorized (-1)
- You carry a topo map (+2)
- Who needs a map - you're prepared to bivouac (+3)
- You can live for a week on the contents of your fanny pack (+4)
- Run duration:
- You rarely run more than 30 minutes (-1)
- You have gotten so lost that someone had to come looking for you (+1)
- No one really expects you back until next month (+2)
- Weather and your favorite run:
- When it's raining, you run on your treadmill (-1)
- There are times you can't do your favorite run because of mud or high water (+1)
- There are times you can't do your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+2)
- There are times you go on your favorite run despite falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+3)
- There are times you go on your favorite run because of falling rocks, wildfire, avalanche danger, or flash flood warnings (+4)
- Peeing on the run:
- You look around for a gas station restroom (-1)
- You can pee anywhere you want on the run (+1)
- You can pee anywhere you want, and in fact must do so to mark and defend your territory from other trail animals (+2)
(< 5) A true road runner - may your PRs ever decrease.
(5-10) Time to buy a trail pack and head uphill.
(11-15) Good potential - keep trying.
(16-20) Hardcore trail runner.
(21-25) You run with wolves.
(26-30) You're a wolf.
(30>) Sasquatch speaks of you with awe.